CH. 14- Why Should I even be alive?

            Chapter 14 starts and Holden is still very confused about mindboggling questions that he cannot comprehend by him self. Even after he tried to vent to a prostitute who was “a lousy conversationalist” (p.96) according to Holden in chapter 13. But back to chapter 14, there was one paragraph that stuck out the most to me. That paragraph would be the very last one in chapter 14.

            In this paragraph Holden contemplates suicide in kind of a sarcastic tone. He starts of talking about how he wants to jump out the window but the way I inferred him as saying it was in a nonchalant voice. He follows that up by saying he probably would of done it, but he would have had to be sure that someone would cover up his body when he landed. And to me that is just bizarre of anyone to say because normally from what I have heard is people commit suicide and leave things behind like notes so that people will remember them. And Holden just wants to disappear after he commits suicide and have no trace of left of his existence. Lastly he says “I didn’t want a bunch of stupid rubbernecks looking at me when I was all gory.”(104) And I feel as though if you were even contemplating suicide in the first place, you would not even be thinking about little things like that, and you would be thinking about why your even about to do such a horrific and selfish thing to yourself and others. What would you think about suicide, if you were Holden?